Like a drop of oil in water

To my friends all over the world, who once were outsiders, foreigners and immigrants. To my friends who still are.

Did you ever wonder? do you ever wonder?

–

I wonder, will I ever miss the sirens I hear, every night as I pat my young one to sleep? 

Will I long for winter’s short days and its long nights? 

Will I still look forward to Christmas Holidays the way I never did towards Eid? 

Will I ever forget the days I felt invisible? When I knew no one and no one knew me? 

Will my decisions in life always be judged? Always blamed on my once upon a time in the west? 

Will they ever see that the woman I am is not less patriotic, not perfect, not bitter, not any different than anyone who ever lived out of a suitcase? 

Will I feel for every foreigner the way I do now?

Will I forget the frustration I felt when I had to repeat my American way of saying H? 

Will it hurt to leave a place where all I ever were was an outsider? 

Will I still feel like an outsider in a place I always called home?

I wonder,

Dhabya.